Tuesday, February 26, 2013

1 Month Ago...

Today marks one month since Andrew and I said "I do."Some days it feels like it was a zillion days ago, and some days I feel like it just happened yesterday. Regardless, it's been a whole month. A whole  amazing month. A whole month! I can't believe all of our hard work and planning paid of one month ago!! It's also been a whole month of changes, and a whole month of things staying the same. Our house is still on the market, it's only been shown twice. So, even though we're still living here, it definitely feels different. This limbo phase is super weird... It's still physically our HOUSE, but it's really not, because it could belong to someone else at any moment. I've been making a conscious effort not to think about it as our long term anymore... Trying not to buy things specific for this house (like a hallway runner rug), and when we did buy new pillows for our room the other day, I tried not to worry about how the colors will look with the walls, since they're not our walls anymore. It's a funny feeling, knowing that your house is temporary. At the same time though, we've been house hunting and having a difficult time of it. Nothing feels like it could be home. Every place we've looked at is like 90% there, and I'm wondering if it's because we're holding on to this place still, since we technically don't "need" to leave until it sells... It's just a really weird in between thing.
I took a yoga class last night for the first time in months. I didn't realize how much I needed it. Not just for the exercise, but for the centering and meditation. I pushed myself during the class, probably more than I should have in a level 3 Flow class, after not being there in a while. But, I needed it. I needed to get my frustrations out, and balance myself.
During meditation at the end, the instructor told us to find our place of comfort, our "happy place". I found myself feeling a little sad because my brain took "place" to mean a physical location, and our house doesn't really feel that way anymore. I laid there, feeling sorry for myself for a bit, but then I realized, I was being too literal, and that my "happy place" was really wherever we were, together. Me, Andrew, and Neville. I realized, as challenging as this last month has been with outside things, I've never been happier in my life with our little family. I know we'll have challenges and hard stuff in the future, but we'll get through them together, and wherever we are, together, is our place of comfort. 

(Sorry for the sappy post today... I PROMISE I'll publish a FULL wedding post soon... with photo booth photos)
xo,
R

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