Life is funny sometimes. Like you sit down, have a complete meltdown about something you think you can't help, and then 30 minutes later, an email comes and that thing is completely alleviated. And then other times, you don't even realize that something is bothering you until you see that thing, which you didn't even know would bother you, and immediately you're annoyed.

And the worst part? Sometimes it's something that has zero bearing on your life. Like who cares if so and so is doing so and so? I shouldn't care at all. But for some reason, I do, and I hate to admit it, but sometimes it turns into envy. Why should they get to do this? Or why don't they have to deal with this? Why can't I have this? It's usually an isolated event or thing. 99.9% of the time I don't want their lives... I mean, mine isn't perfect, but it's mine and I love it.

But sometimes there's the one thing. Usually it's a fun and creative thing that I totally wish I could do.  Sometimes it's a trip they get to take, or something else tangible, but usually it's more abstract. A project, a job, something that I may or may not be "qualified" for, but would still love to do. I think it all comes back to the need for a creative outlet. I look at successful bloggers and I think "man, I wish I could get to that level, doing something I love." Or designers that had super successful brands, and there's a twinge of "ugh why them and not me?"

I think a little envy here and there isn't totally a bad thing. It's what drives people to be better, to do better, to work hard. The thing that bothered me this morning sparked me to write this (super coherent, I'm sure) post today, and maybe that spark will ignite something else, and so on and so forth. Probably not, because pregnant and tired, but maybe, just maybe, that little bit of envy is the kick in the pants that I need to get motivated and get that creative outlet started.


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