Three.
Patience. It's wearing thin in the Clark House this evening. Today was another snow day. Yes, another. Yesterday was too. And most of last weekend. And my husband is out of town. Until Friday. Tomorrow is another snow day. Hooray for winter.
To be fair, my kid has been pretty great over the last few days. He's 3, which has it's own brand of crazy, never mind being cooped up in the house with his mom for 48+ hours. We've made it to the evening most days before meltdowns and/or time outs happen, and although it's taken a lot more TV than I'd like, it's gone better than expected.
Until bedtime tonight where I was just totally, completely done. His silliness was grating, every little step took 3 times longer than usual, and by the time we were listening to our nightly meditations, his wiggly body knocking over books was the last straw. After cleaning up the books myself and snapping at him to "lay still and be quiet" I laid down next to him again and he fell asleep halfway through the second 5 minute meditation.
I could have snuck out then, and had a few more minutes of peace by myself, but I didn't. I snuggled in a little closer and listened to his soft snoring. All of my irritation melted away, and I let myself relax a little and just watched him sleep. I'm exhausted. I'm incubating another tiny human. I'm solo-parenting for another 2 days, and I just spent most of the evening unnecessarily pissed off that my three year old was just being cooped-up-in-the-house-all-day three. Honestly, it sounds like such a waste of my time. When you're in the moment, parenting can seem so dire, so frustrating, and so much like talking to a damn wall. But then, you look back, and all of the irritation seems so trivial.
He's sound asleep now, and though he sleeps though the night regularly, will probably wake up at some point because he can somehow feel in his sleep that his daddy isn't here. If/when that happens, he'll call for me, and ask to come sleep in my bed. I'll take him to the bathroom half-asleep (because I'm not about to wash sheets anytime between then and 7am) and lay him next to me. He'll ask me to cuddle him, and probably wake me approximately 5 more times with his bony knees and elbows, or the semi-creepy sleep giggles he sometimes emits. But he'll be warm and snuggly, and I'll sleep soundly for whatever minutes I can, because he's right there.
Sometime between 5:55 and 6:30, he'll most definitely wake me up asking to watch a show, or saying he's hungry, and our day will start again. He'll probably earn a time out (or five), and there will be battles. But I'm really going to try and be better and choose the ones that matter. And tomorrow at bedtime, I'll take a few minutes again and listen to the snoring.
To be fair, my kid has been pretty great over the last few days. He's 3, which has it's own brand of crazy, never mind being cooped up in the house with his mom for 48+ hours. We've made it to the evening most days before meltdowns and/or time outs happen, and although it's taken a lot more TV than I'd like, it's gone better than expected.
Until bedtime tonight where I was just totally, completely done. His silliness was grating, every little step took 3 times longer than usual, and by the time we were listening to our nightly meditations, his wiggly body knocking over books was the last straw. After cleaning up the books myself and snapping at him to "lay still and be quiet" I laid down next to him again and he fell asleep halfway through the second 5 minute meditation.
I could have snuck out then, and had a few more minutes of peace by myself, but I didn't. I snuggled in a little closer and listened to his soft snoring. All of my irritation melted away, and I let myself relax a little and just watched him sleep. I'm exhausted. I'm incubating another tiny human. I'm solo-parenting for another 2 days, and I just spent most of the evening unnecessarily pissed off that my three year old was just being cooped-up-in-the-house-all-day three. Honestly, it sounds like such a waste of my time. When you're in the moment, parenting can seem so dire, so frustrating, and so much like talking to a damn wall. But then, you look back, and all of the irritation seems so trivial.
He's sound asleep now, and though he sleeps though the night regularly, will probably wake up at some point because he can somehow feel in his sleep that his daddy isn't here. If/when that happens, he'll call for me, and ask to come sleep in my bed. I'll take him to the bathroom half-asleep (because I'm not about to wash sheets anytime between then and 7am) and lay him next to me. He'll ask me to cuddle him, and probably wake me approximately 5 more times with his bony knees and elbows, or the semi-creepy sleep giggles he sometimes emits. But he'll be warm and snuggly, and I'll sleep soundly for whatever minutes I can, because he's right there.
Sometime between 5:55 and 6:30, he'll most definitely wake me up asking to watch a show, or saying he's hungry, and our day will start again. He'll probably earn a time out (or five), and there will be battles. But I'm really going to try and be better and choose the ones that matter. And tomorrow at bedtime, I'll take a few minutes again and listen to the snoring.
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